So magically powerful - yet can be the scariest thing ever!
Can feel like you are getting the skin ripped off your body.
It can feel like every hair on your body is sticking 10 feet out.
It can just feel aggressive that you need to tear a pillow to shreds!
You may scream, cry, laugh, retreat or just curl in a ball and hide.
However this looks for you, know and trust once vulnerability is embraced something beautiful can come out of this. However vulnerability feels for you is ok. It can feel different for us all. Being vulnerable isn’t easy. But each time it can get easier. Like strengthening a muscle. Constant practise will build your vulnerability muscle up.
Lately I been feeling in such a vulnerable state. Needing to retreat, taking time to fully be in it. Holding space for myself to fully feel all the emotions is being brave and vulnerable. I could just run away from the feelings here and not be vulnerable. It would be much easier, but really, where will that leave me?
It is uncomfortable and sometimes It can feel I need to lay in bed and throw the covers over my head! Or face plant my whole body on the grass. You may not even want to talk it over with another as that will add more vulnerability to the vulnerability and cause a vulnerability snow storm. Sometimes a little snow storm can be beneficial though. It can be so much to take in all at once and you need to really feel into the personal limit that you can handle at that particular time. Hold on. It will get easier. It is about knowing your boundaries with yourself. Boundaries to set to know when to ease off going there so you are not pushed to the excessive limit where you shut yourself down for days and don’t communicate to anyone during your time when you need support. Boundaries to know that its ok to be pushed to the point it feels darn uncomfortable but knowing when they’ve gone to the too far limit. We still want to remain open and not close the heart off to feeling vulnerable.
When I am in this space of pure vulnerability sometimes I can’t hold space and be there so much for others as need to retreat and fill my cup back up while processing the emotions that arise. Holding space for another while you are extremely vulnerable is mastering the art of vulnerability in my opinion. You need a trophy saying “vulnerability student of the year”. Sometimes we need to be so selfish for our own sake, engaging just with ourselves while we recalibrate all of our energy and threads.
For me, the constant pressure I put on myself with setting very high expectations to constantly be there either on social media, or to be too perfect, or to learn more, to keep up with it all, keeping up with jones I like to call it or something like that. Then there is pushing myself to do what is not in alignment with me with me anymore because of the commitment I made years ago and then not accepting that things change. We are constantly changing. These expectations and external pressures tend burn me out and then feel depleted. It can feel like we are adding years to our age.
From my ponderings a few years ago, I discovered it is embracing vulnerability to let the expectations that are leaving you dry go! That is vulnerable. Placing you in a position of the unknown. Empty space. That is trusting the world will not crumble around you if you let go. That is vulnerable isn’t it?
You will naturally start doing things for you and this is also being vulnerable - like working on your own stuff, which is like birthing something for you and moving forward with your goals. And we all know that fear off success usually holds us back, using distractions to get off path. Being exposed to putting yourself out there is embracing vulnerability. To be seen.
So back to filling up your cup. Fill that right up to the brim! You can hold space for someone from a place of really being there and present for them. When you hold space for another, this is also embracing being vulnerable, putting yourself in that situation to listen and to support. Because usually you will find when a friend needs to talk something over with you it is because you hold a key to give them to unlock a door to shed more light. Yes, you too have been through something or a similar situation that required you to have the strength and wisdom to share and to pass these teachings to another. This going there to where you have been in your past to pass on is being vulnerable. Holding space for another when you are full you offer value and you reap the rewards of tenfolds back for helping another soul. This is not an excuse to use to hide away though and not ask for help ok. Using the “my cup isn’t full enough to be in a space with others”, or the “I don’t love myself enough to let anyone in” bollocks. Remember those boundaries, yeah?!
Don’t push away what also could be the best opportunities due to excuses. It is about being honest with yourself. whether it is just feeling vulnerable, or just fearful of going there. Or actually is out of alignment for you right in that moment. Ask yourself honestly. You will know.
Vulnerability is beautiful really, from every way we look at it!
Even if at times it doesn’t feel it. It is, and by you by just changing your perception on that can make the ride of vulnerability even more pleasant to be in.
Eventually its unavoidable. If we keep pushing it away, sooner or later it may come up as a physical thing that will force us to be vulnerable. Learn to get as comfortable as you can with it. Learn to love it. Soon, it will love you just as much back.
The strength it takes to be truly vulnerable is a complete paradox to how much fear we feel being it.
I believe in you.
Thank you Vulnerability
Tabitha Lee xxx
NOW, after all that vulnerability talk it has made me kinda peckish!
Off to invent some more recipe goodies for you to try and recipes to add to an ebook for you too.